Friday, January 29, 2016


My darling, sweet girl. Four. How did we get here? So many things happened this year. We ended last year with a new family member, Wallace the dog. He grew with you. You're still sometimes adjusting and learning to appreciate his big, goofy, particularly rambunctious brand of affection but you really love him. So does Violet, your favored choice in dogs, but she's been yours since you were born. You started swimming lessons. Your teacher immediately took to you and called you her rockstar swimmer. We went on rock hunts, leaf hunts, all the hunts. You climbed and ran and swung as high as swings can swing. You got your first real skateboard, a Blind deck, just like I had when I was a kid. You started gymnastics, and classes at a local co op. We went on a vacation as a family to St. Pete Beach and watched dolphins in the water. You danced, jumped, played. Navigated your way through the corn maze. Picked the very best pumpkin in the patch. Rode roller coasters at the fair. Completely fearless into everyday. 

So many brilliant, bright days this year. Yet, it was a rough one. Maybe the worst one in some ways, but it can't be because there you are - happy and healthy and unreasonably beautiful. This is the year we decided, through trial, grief, and heartache, that our family is complete. We will grow with each other and learn everything we can and appreciate the good things, all together, the three of us forever. As you grow and get older I have a sinking worry that one day, when you're much, much older, you'll feel alone. I want you to know that you were never alone in your childhood. Never lonely, and that is my goal. That at the end of each day you feel loved, completely adored, that you're something amazing and so meaningful and that our family is enough. Never alone.

Sweet Bee, you are strong and fierce. A warrior, courageous, an explorer, a lover with a full heart. Full everything, filled to the brim and boiling over into the world everywhere you go. An adventurer with a boundless spirit. A dancer, conducting your own orchestras and performing on stage. Fearless. Giving. Inspiring. Perfect. Smart. Inquisitive. You have so much to give with the energy to follow through. I know that you will find your place and make your mark and I'm so glad to have you. Paws in, my love. 

“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.” --Albert Camus

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